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COMMUNITY NEWS |
The Prater's Creek Gazette 22nd Issue Summer 2009 Page #2 |
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Local Mothers Say "Harrumph! Eight?!!! Big Deal!!" Mary Beth Hudson, local mother of 23 children, wants to know what all the fuss is about over Nadya Suleman having eight children. "Why, I was out working the fields the morning my water broke when I had my first eight young-uns!" Sally May McGrady told The Gazette. She says she was doing chores the day after she had her nantuplets. Frieda Hawkins, when asked if she used a fertility drug that resulted in her having ten babies replied "Fertilizer?! Nah, just my husband's". Johnette Vickers who had ten babies just two weeks ago, says she had her babies, and then attended a "Fire David Letterman" rally held at The Bait Shop. Livwright's General Store To Give Away Pickles
Livwright's
General Store will be giving away a pickle to each and every customer that
comes into the store during the month of July. To get their free pickle,
customers must sing at least half of the song "It's Sunday in Prater's
Creek" by The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show. "I promise everybody, if you come in and sing that song, you'll get a pickle" says store owner, Todd Livwright. "We ain't gonna be like KFC and try and hoodoo you" he added, referring to the recent broiled chicken giveaway debacle at KFC. When asked if it was risky giving free food away when so many people are out of work and hungry, Livwright said, "I don't care if every dad burn person in the upstate comes in, they'll get a pickle. And speaking of Kentucky Fried, excuse me, I mean "KFC". What happened to that place? Got a English fellow shilling BROILED chicken in their TV commercials!!" Mr. Livwright also said that any customer who could understand that David Letterman was NOT talking about Sarah Palin's fourteen year old daughter, but mistakenly thought that the daughter in attendance at a Yankee game the day he made the joke was Palin's older daughter who had baby out of wedlock recently, would get an entire jar of pickles.
"Lay Down
in Silence" To
Be Observed In
Upstate On Wednesday, August 5, there will be a "Lay Down in Silence" held all throughout the upstate. On that day at 7pm, the end of happy hour, upstate drunks will go and lay on the railroad tracks in remembrance of their buddies and fellow drunks who died that way. "Oh, it's a sacred day for us" said Louie Fuller, the town drunk historian. "I've lost three of my best buddies that way."
Local parents Jim bob and Karrie Sue Mitchell have been enjoying the success of their reality radio show. The show, broadcast daily, right after the obituaries, on WPCR-AM, documents the daily life of the couple and all of their children's lives on the farm. The show has a devoted following in the upstate and is the main subject of conversation over at the beauty shop. The show has proven to be so popular that it was picked up and broadcast nationally, and people with no taste have been listening all across this great land. And the "Fire David Letterman" organizers have all proclaimed the radio show as their favorite. Recently, rumors have been circulating that the couple had been fighting and was only staying together to get all of the free supplies from the radio show's sponsor, Prater's Creek Guano Company. Responding to the rumors, Karrie-Sue said "that's a load of crap!". Prater's Creek Thinks It's Got Talent Prater's Creek Thinks It's Got Talent will be held downtown every Friday evening this summer, and like last year, contestants will be vying for the grand prize of a sack of flour from Livwright's General Store. Last summer's contest series drew crowds up to a couple of dozen people and was won by Frank, The Flatulent Farm Boy. Last year's runner-up, Sue Boyd, is expected to enter this year's contest, provided she's cleared by her psychiatrist. Miss Boyd, who was predicted to win, and then fell into a deep depression after losing to the Flatulent Farm Boy and tried to marry her cat and organized many "Fire David Letterman" rallies, with the help of her cat. Mayor Allen Jones said if Miss Boyd did enter this year's contest, she would not be allowed to bring her cats, or any sharp objects.
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