Today's Weather |
The Prater's Creek Gazette " THE UPSTATE'S SHINING COMMUNITY " 22nd Issue Summer 2009 |
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The Hillbilly Doppler reports: Partly rowdy with a 100% chance of Raisin Cain. |
Charges Dropped Against Cousin Ray |
By Irving O. Tarbox SPECIAL TO THE GAZETTE The story that has had not only the upstate on the edge of it's chair, but the entire nation, and even readers in far flung places such as Taiwan, Great Britain, Poland, Belgium, Botswana, The Netherlands, Argentina, and East Lansing, Michigan has finally come to a happy ending.
Cousin Ray, who had been allowed to forgo bail because, after Kenny Baker, he is the best fiddle player in bluegrass, and needed to play shows with Prater's Creek's most famous sons, The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, "fiddlematic immunity" the judge called it, had been put back in jail when a rival bluegrass band bribed the judge. The band, who has been trying to snake The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show on some gigs, told the judge that, while free, but still under the restrictions of bail rules, the fiddle player was engaged in moonshining with Grandpa. And the rival band also told the judge that Cousin Ray had went over the state line without permission on numerous occasions lately to perform with The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show. The judge didn't seem to mind those two things, especially since, according to reliable sources, he is one of Grandpa's biggest customers, and that one of his daughters got married and the band played her reception in North Carolina.
When he first emerged from jail, with all of the upstate television news crews there, including WYFF's Latina hottie Myra Ruiz, and also this newspaper, Cousin Ray's first words as a free man were "Did Cousin Dee bail me out?". When told that all charges were dropped, and about the constable's mistake, Cousin Ray was asked how he felt, to which he replied, "So, you're saying Cousin Dee ain't here?". |
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