Lifestyles

Dear
Ramona

Dear Ramona,

 I’ve had a crush on this fine lil' filly for months now. But my problem is she don't even notice me. What should I do?

Smitten in Six Mile

Dear Smitten,

 I notice you Homer Ledford but I ain't interested in dating you!

Ramona  

Dear Ramona,

 I have been trying to break up with this woman for some time. I don't wanna hurt her feelings, so I keep dropping little hints. What should I do?

Tied Down in Tamassee

Dear Tied Down,

Why, Billy Joe Webber, if you wanna dump me, you go right ahead, I'll just take up with Homer Ledford.

And oh yeah, saying we "should date other people" ain't exactly a subtle hint!

Ramona

Dear Ramona

 I am writing to ask you to reprint a letter you first ran in the early 1970's, and again in the early 80's during economic hard times, not unlike the ones we are going through now.

Deja Vu in Dacusville

Dear Deja Vu,

 Below is that letter.

Ramona

Dear Ramona,

 My wife and I have both been laid off from our jobs. We have been out every day for six months looking for work. We can barely afford to feed  our kids and us, and our unemployment benefits are about to run out.

 Many of our friends and relatives are in the same leaky boat.

 I'm not only afraid for my family, but for the entire country.

Any advice?

  Unemployed in Upstate

  Dear Unemployed,

    We Americans must keep a positive, an optimistic, frame of mind. I know that's hard to do when you're out of work, struggling to put food on the table, and can't afford gas to put in the car to go look for a job, when you know there ain't no jobs out there.

   But, always remember this country has been through many hard times, and came back stronger each time. You may not agree with, or even like, our president and his policies. But now is not the time for political backbiting, or pointing fingers at this group or that group. blaming them for our problems.

   And when you think you just can't cope anymore, then friend, put on The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, and turn it up LOUD! If the music don't pick you up, then hearing about Grandpa's woes will make you realize that even you got it better than some!

Ramona

Backyard Baseball Starts With

Arrival of Spring

 Boys and girls everywhere are choosing up sides for backyard baseball games. Dads are playing catch with their sons and daughters. Kids are trying to throw curveballs and working on their bunting. Well, they should since the art of bunting is a dying art. As soon they get home from school, they will change clothes and head out to play baseball, right up to supper. Just like The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show sing about in their song "The All-American Game":

The kids are in the backyard they're choosing up sides

They wanna knock the cover off that ol' cow hide

Fist over fist, my thumb's on top

I choose first, to hear that old leather pop

(chorus)

It's the game of baseball, played throughout the world

By kids of all ages, by boys and by girls

You can bet your bottom dollar in the sun or in the rain

Somebody's playing baseball, the All-American game

Joe Dean's on first and Laura's playing third

Mama won't let Billy play, she heard him using cuss words

We'll play a game of Pickle or Roll At The Bat

A do over's called, line drive hit the cat

(chorus)

Some play the game on fresh cut grass

Others play on asphalt littered with broken glass

Home plate is a dirt spot or a manhole cover

We'll finish the game right after supper

(chorus)

On this day in prater's creek history

  On this day in history in Prater’s Creek, Tom Lester, who played "Eb" on the classic television show "Green Acres", attended a ribbon cutting ceremony at Livwright's General Store, and received the key to the city. Livwright's was re- opening the remodeled front porch after winds blew a hickory ember from the barbecue pit and ignited a jug of Grandpa's finest that was sitting on the porch.

Fire Station To Have

Tripe and Headcheese Dinner

The Prater’s Creek Volunteer Fire Department will be having a headcheese and tripe supper on May 5, from 5pm to 7pm, to raise money to buy a fire truck. Plates are $4 for adults and $3 for children under twelve. Chief “Flint” McCalister said his band, Flint and The Flattops, would be providing the evening’s entertainment. The fire station is located on Stewart Gin Road.

Bluegrass Twin Sister Act Plays In Town

World renowned picking and grinning twin sisters, The Milton Twins, played a concert here in town to a sold out audience last month. The Miltons do not write their own songs, but do interesting bluegrass covers of such rock songs as Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever", Led Zeppelin's "Black Dog", Iggy & The Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog", Cyndi Lauper's "She-Bop", and also a great rendition of Roger Miller's "My Uncle Used To Love Me But She Died".

Grandpa, of The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, who was on the front row at the concert, was grinning ear to ear and yelling "I love these girls!!!".

Local Female Politician Introduces Bill Into State House Records

Local Statehouse Representative, Patty Paloosy, introduced a bill into the records last week. If passed, all male members of the South Carolina Statehouse would have to wait six months, after being diagnosed, to have cancer or a brain tumor treated.

Economic Stimulus Trickles Down to Prater's Creek

The Congressional economic stimulus package has reached Prater's Creek, and not a minute too soon. Economic hard times have hit our town. Daisy, the waitress at the Six Mile Cafe, has said her tips have been down the past few months. Todd Livwright, owner of Livwright's General Store, has had to lay off Zeke, the man who restocks the pickle barrel. Jenny Heart has said her dress shop business has fallen off dramatically. Tom Hunt, owner of TRH Construction, says nobody can afford to build a new outhouse. The only business that hasn't been hurt is Grandpa's elixir sales. "I'm selling more elixir than ever!" Grandpa told the Gazette.

But our town received all of $13.86 and Mayor Jones said the town will use the money to plant gardenias around the town cesspool.