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Today's Weather

The Prater's Creek Gazette


 19th Issue Fall 2008

Log Cabin Photo

The Hillbilly Doppler reports: Partly rowdy with a 100% chance of  Raisin Cain.

Uncle Carl Winding Up Campaign

By Irving O. Tarbox


Keeping his campaign in tune with the American people the way he keeps his banjo in tune with The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, Uncle Carl continued to bring his message of "A Chicken in Every Pot, Two Pigs in Every Poke, and Three Fingers on Every Banjo!" to the nation.

 Holding town hall meetings across the country and speaking to bingo crowds, Uncle Carl has picked up momentum and now has .000000000241 % of the potential vote according to Rotor Rooters Poling and Gallstone Poles.

 Though he is being outspent $100,000,000 to 1, and can't afford to compete with the TV ads and fancy banners of the other tickets, Uncle Carl and The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show has been traveling the back roads delivering the message of bluegrass and getting rid of artificial turf.

When Uncle Carl announced that Big Jimmy Moore would be his running mate, the press (but not this paper!) tried to dig up some dirt on Moore, but could find nothing. "Big Jimmy is an old fishing buddy of mine" Uncle Carl told the Gazette, "and was the perfect choice for my vice presidential nominee. I mean, yeah he's been arrested a few times for fightin' chickens, and he has been in jail a couple of times for gettin' drunk and gettin' into a fight here and there. But he's the best vice presidential candidate a fella could want. He doesn't have the smarts like that Biden fella, and he isn't as purty as Sara Palin, but he can barbecue a hog better than them other two, and I'm sure he can take 'em both in arm rasslin'."

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