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The Prater's Creek Gazette


 20th Issue Winter 2008

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The Hillbilly Doppler reports: Partly rowdy with a 100% chance of  Raisin Cain.

Uncle Carl's Campaign Crushing

Crimps Creek's Christmas Spirit

By Irving O. Tarbox


Christmas was nearly called off this year here in Prater's Creek because the entire town was still wallowing in the depression that followed Uncle Carl's failed run for the office of the Presidency of the United States.

There was no carolers caroling, no bells, silver or otherwise, ringing or jingling. There were no stockings hung by the chimney with care or carelessness, and the only visions dancing through the children's little heads were thoughts of a country that wouldn't vote for a bluegrass banjo picker. The only decorations in the downtown store fronts , or on the towns people's front lawns  were the leftover handmade "Uncle Carl for President" signs. Why, the staff here at the Gazette were so down in the dumps we couldn't get a holiday issue that measured up to our usual standards.

To make matters worse, the entire $11.54 that the town made from hosting last Spring's C.A.R.P. fishing tournament was spent on Uncle Carl's campaign.

The night of the election, when, by 7:01 EST, it was obvious he was an also ran, Uncle Carl called a press conference with The Gazette at the snack bar at the Prater's Creek High football field. Our reporter asked why he called the press conference at the snack bar, and Uncle Carl responded "It is a concession speech isn't it?".

During his concession speech, he told the American people "Don't come running to me to fix thangs!"

But the entire town finally got the Christmas spirit last night at The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show's annual Christmas Concert at town hall. It happened about halfway through the performance when Uncle Carl sang "Away in a Manger". As he sang the song, people started weeping, children remembered what the holiday was all about.

As the audience rose to the their feet and applauded, it was clear that Christmas was in every heart of every citizen of this great town.

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