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Lifestyles
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Dear |
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Ramona |
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Dear
Readers,
Well, I finally healed from my nasty
fall that broke my hip while visiting my cousin up in Chicago. When you’re
my age it takes a little longer to heal you know. I want to thank all of
y’all for the wonderful cards and letters you sent. They really cheered me
up.
Hopefully next year when I visit my
cousin again, and attend a Bears game, I won’t get too drunk. Ahh, that
ain’t gonna happen, but hopefully I won’t injure myself again.
It’s great to be back. Go Bears!
Ramona
Dear Ramona,
I met a wonderful woman in the
parking lot of Soldier Field before the NFC Championship game. Maybe it was
the aroma from the meat cooking on the grill, or the fact that the Bears
killed the Saints that day. Or it could have been the homemade liquor in
that jug she kept passing around, but I immediately fell in love with her. I
never got to see her again after the game and I hear she moved back to South
Carolina. Ramona, what should I do?
Widower in the Windy
City
Dear Widower,
Well, my heavens! That was me you old
coot and you know it!
Ramona
Dear Ramona,
I am married to a wonderful man but
something has been troubling me lately. I have started to notice that all of
his sister’s children look just like my husband. His brother-in-law looks
nothing like the children. Ramona, what should I do? Should I confront him
about this? I am at my wit’s end.
Puzzled
in Prater’s Creek
Dear Puzzled,
You do live in Prater’s Creek don’t
you? The next thing you’re gonna tell me is that your mobile home is all
paid for.
Ramona |
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Summer
Camp For
Boys That
Ain't Got
No
Daddy Or
Responsible Male
Roll
Model
As the divorce rate keeps climbing higher and higher, and
so do the number of women having children out of wedlock, many boys in
big cities, such as New York, NY, Trenton, NJ, Los Angeles, CA, and
Greenville, SC, are growing up with no father in their lives.
A camp will be held this summer to give the boys the
guidance they are not getting at home. The boys will be taught
invaluable things such as the proper way to slide into base, how to lay
down a bunt, how to set a hook in a largemouth bass’ mouth, and how to get
rid of jock itch. There will also be seminars such as “Nice Girl or Bad
Girl: Why Buy the Cow When You’re Getting the Milk for Free?”.
The camp runs from July 15-21.
Summer
Camp For
Girls That
Ain't Got
No
Daddy Or
Responsible Male
Roll Model
There will also be a summer camp for girls from July
22-28.
The girls will take important classes in cooking,
sewing, chopping wood, and “how to hit a man with an iron skillet so’s
not to kill him but to just get his attention real good”. There will
also be seminars such as “Nice Girl or Bad Girl: Why Would He Buy the
Cow When He’s Getting the Milk for Free?”.
“MAKE
A DREAM COME TRUE”
Organization
To
Let
Local
Dying
Man
Hit
Band
With
Shovel
Larry McCragan, who is dying of terminal loneliness,
has loved country music since he was a kid. “But the junk they call
‘country’ nowadays is just plumb awful!” Mr. McCragan said. “Especially
Montgomery-Gentry!”
The doctors told McCragan, who has been pining over
his wife leaving him for an insurance salesman, that he didn’t have long
for this old world. McCragan told his brother, Sanford, about his dream
of hitting Montgomery-Gentry in the face with a shovel. Sanford got in
touch with the Make A Dream Come True organization and it seems the
country duo had promised the organization that they would help out if
ever needed.
On This
Day In
Prater's Creek
History
On this day in history in 1965, Bob Dylan passed
through Prater’s Creek and spent time on the front porch with
Grandpa, of The
Drovers Old Time Medicine Show. It is legend that, after hearing
Grandpa go on for two hours about the evils
of bluegrass bands that have electric basses, Dylan decided to go
electric at that year’s Newport folk Festival.
Ladies Auxiliary
To Hold
Bake Sale
The Prater’s Creek Ladies Auxiliary will hold a bake
sale at Prater’s Creek First Baptist Church on Saturday August 3. All
proceeds will go to the Home for Homeless Homing Pigeons.
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