The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show - Prater's Creek Gazette

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COMMUNITY NEWS	The Prater's Creek Gazette 7th Issue Fall 2005 Page #2

Sure Signs of the Apocalypse

Wal-Mart, that bastion of commercial evil, is selling microwave pork rinds

Sure Signs There May Be Hope for Civilization

Oprah Winfrey Picked William Faulkner for her Oprah’s Reading Club. Imagine a million Peggy Bundys reading Light In August!

Crayola is using Bill Monroe and The Bluegrass Boys’ 1946 recording of “Heavy Traffic Ahead” for it’s Erasable line of crayons. This song was the first song that Bill recorded with Flatt and Scruggs in the band, the historical beginning of true bluegrass music.

Lady’s Auxiliary Holds Coffee Break

The Prater’s Creek chapter of the Lady’s Auxiliary held a Coffee Break for truckers on Highway 123 at the Liberty exit last Saturday. Auxiliary captain Flossie Jenkins said the coffee break was to promote highway safety among truckers. "These things started back in 1975, during the CB radio craze. We get on our CBs and get the word out that if any truckers are tired that they should pull over and rest. We offer them free coffee and doughnuts" Flossie said that she met her fourth husband at a recent coffee break when "he’s a hauling Vidalias coast to coast. He said he liked my coffee, that it woke him up more than a handful of ‘California Turnarounds’!"

Hillbilly Mantra of the Month

Repeat to yourself throughout the day: “The name of the store over to the big city is 'Bi-Lo’, not ‘Bi-Lo’s’”

High Tea Turns into Terrible Trouble

The Six-Mile Social Club has been meeting every Thursday afternoon without incident for years. But that all changed last Thursday when a drunken brawl broke out at the weekly get together. Beulah May Johnson had watched an old movie at the Bijou Theater where she had seen ladies having four o-clock “high tea”. “ She always tryin’ to put on airs” said Beulah’s best friend Tessie Hawkins after being bailed out of jail by her husband Big Tom. “She thought she’d try to bring a little ‘culture’ to our meeting.”

“We had us a little of the tea, a 'spot' she called it” said Mrs. Hawkins, “And we’s a eatin’ them little cookies that Beulah May was callin’ 'biscuits'. I thought the tea needed a little kick so I slipped a little of Dr. Trundell’s elixir into the pot of tea. Everybody was getting along fine and then Beulah May wanted to arm wrestle Gertie and it just went all down hill from there.”

Anti Al-Queda Rally Held

A rally was held in downtown last Wednesday to sustain support for our nation’s cause in the war in Afghanistan. General Benjamin Laboon, of the US Army, gave a speech, The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show performed the song “Keep On The firing Line”, and then a short video was shown of the 9/11 attack. The “Give Osama The Finger” rally ended as a big picture of Osama Bin Laden was shown and the entire town shot a bird at the photo. Reverend Ernest Carswell said, “I know it’s a vulgar gesture, but it felt good!” Amen.