On any other given day, a South Carolinian would have to hire a detective to locate a Confederate flag -- other than the one on the statehouse grounds or flying over a Maurice's Barbecue. Maurice, whose flagship joint happens to be located along the drive from the airport to downtown Columbia, is famous for his mustard-based barbecue sauce and his refusal to remove the flag from his premises (on principle, he'll tell you).

But somehow outsiders stumble right into the same old tired themes and recycled stories. My own theory is that the state keeps a stable of characters (gap teeth optional) on retainer and trots them out when the yankees come to town with their videocams. The rest of the year, Gomer and Gussie count the Canada geese on their estate property and bet on polo ponies.