Lifestyles

Dear Ramona: My friends and I have been having a disagreement and I hope you can settle this for us. One of the women here in town recently got married. On the big day her maid of honor showed up at the ceremony falling down drunk and caused a big scene.

Is the bride obligated to send her a thank-you note for the gift? I say she shouldn’t. What do you think?

Phyllis in Prater’s Creek

Dear Phyllis: How many times am I going to have to apologize to you Phyllis?! I didn’t know The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show had brewed up some extra strong elixir. I was just taking it for medicinal purposes!
And I was just giving your new husband some expert marital advice when y’all found us in the hay. We’s just talking.

Ramona

Dear Ramona: Me and my boyfriend have been keeping steady company for ten years now. He walks me to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday evening, and we have a standing date every Saturday night.
Ramona, how do I get him to finally pop the question?

45 and Still Single

Dear Still Single:

Erlene Robinson, that Henry Jenkins ain’t gonna never pop the question until his mama says that he can! You need to tell him to cut the cord or you’re cutting out.

Ramona

Local Band comes to aid of County

Local bluegrass band, The Drovers Old Time Medicine show came to the aid of the Pickens County Health Department this winter by helping with the flu shot shortage. The band offered free doses of Grandpa’s elixir. Only family that got the flu in the county was Prohibitionist candidate, Ben Huckleberry’s family.

Country Concert Protested, Banned

The Toby Keith/Kenny Chesney free concert that was supposed to go on this Saturday has been canceled because, as Mayor Allen Jones said “I don’t know who the yahoo was that approved this dang concert, but we ain’t gonna have that mess here in our town!” The mayor then added, “Not since Wal-Mart tried to come to Prater’s Creek has there been such a rigmarole!”

Ice Cream Supper to Benefit Local

Volunteer Fire Department

This Friday night, at the fire station on Stewart Gin Road an ice cream supper will be held. Bowls will be $4 for adults and $2 for children under twelve. The volunteer firemen are still trying to raise enough money to buy a fire truck. "A few more of these suppers and we can afford a real fire truck" said Chief Flint McCalister. McCalister also said his band, Flint and the Flat Tops, would perform after the supper. "And I’ll be doing the churning myself".