The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show - Prater's Creek Gazette

PAGE 1 \| 2 \| 3 \| 4 \| 5

Sports	The Prater's Creek Gazette 2nd Issue Summer 1999 Page #5
As Compiled by Sports Editor Bubba McCalister and his brother Dorris PETA Protests Prater's Creek Bass Tourney The 23rd annual Prater's Creek BASS tournament, normally a fun filled festive weekend of drinking, music, drinking, and some fishing turned into a political showdown between the anglers and the angered. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) caught wind that Wheaties cereal planned to put this year's tournament winner on their box of cereal and came to South Carolina to protest what they called "the unnecessary and viciously deceptive catching and weighing of the noble largemouth bass." "What they put these poor little fish through is just awful," said PETA spokesperson Kirn Bassinger. Bass tournament director "Anglin"' Jim Anglin, at a press conference, said, "We don't know what these people are talking about! I'm sure the fish would agree that they have put us through a lot more pain than we have put them through!" Bassinger demanded that the tournament be called off at which Anglin responded "Do what?!! She don't like to fish? And she's from Georgia?!! With a name like BASS-inger you'd think she'd have to be a fisherman." The Drovers finally stepped in and sang "You Gotta Quit Kicking My Dawg Around". The song's "pro-animal" lyrics pleased the PETA bunch and the tourney was able to continue. Anglin then whispered to the Drovers, " I sure hope they don't stick around for tonight's entertainment—that possum juggler". Hoopsters Whup Irmo The Prater's Creek Polecats defeated the heavily favored city boys from Irmo 85-59 last Tuesday afternoon. The Polecats almost had to forfeit the contest because Irmo coach Miles Eubanks III complained about the Prater's Creek gym still having peach baskets instead of regulation rims. Conference officials agreed and ordered the school to finally update their facilities. Since there was only an hour until game time, it looked like the Polecats would have to forfeit. Then Homer, of The Drovers, spoke up and said the teams could come out to the Drovers' farm where they had a court with real rims and backboards. Coach Eubanks agreed, but when he and his Irmo team arrived there to see that The Drovers' had regulation rims, but a red clay surface to play on, he erupted. "No! No! No! Prater's Creek must forfeit! We can't play on dirt!" he yelled. Homer stepped in and showed him the rulebook, "The rule book states that you have to have regulation rims at regulation height, and the court must be 90 feet long and 45 feet wide. It don't say nothin' about the surface of the court." Conference officials agreed and ordered Irmo to take the court. The Polecats jumped on the Yellow Jackets early in the game when the Irmo city boys became nauseous, and complained of the smell coming from the cow pasture and hog pen that was behind their bench.

PAGE 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Sports

The Prater's Creek Gazette

2nd Issue Summer 1999 Page #5

As Compiled by Sports Editor Bubba McCalister and his brother Dorris

PETA Protests Prater's Creek Bass Tourney

The 23rd annual Prater's Creek BASS tournament, normally a fun filled festive weekend of drinking, music, drinking, and some fishing turned into a political showdown between the anglers and the angered.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) caught wind that Wheaties cereal planned to put this year's tournament winner on their box of cereal and came to South Carolina to protest what they called "the unnecessary and viciously deceptive catching and weighing of the noble largemouth bass."

"What they put these poor little fish through is just awful," said PETA spokesperson Kirn Bassinger. Bass tournament director "Anglin"' Jim Anglin, at a press conference, said, "We don't know what these people are talking about! I'm sure the fish would agree that they have put us through a lot more pain than we have put them through!"

Bassinger demanded that the tournament be called off at which Anglin responded "Do what?!! She don't like to fish? And she's from Georgia?!! With a name like BASS-inger you'd think she'd have to be a fisherman."

The Drovers finally stepped in and sang "You Gotta Quit Kicking My Dawg Around". The song's "pro-animal" lyrics pleased the PETA bunch and the tourney was able to continue. Anglin then whispered to the Drovers, " I sure hope they don't stick around for tonight's entertainment—that possum juggler".

Hoopsters Whup Irmo

The Prater's Creek Polecats defeated the heavily favored city boys from Irmo 85-59 last Tuesday afternoon. The Polecats almost had to forfeit the contest because Irmo coach Miles Eubanks III complained about the Prater's Creek gym still having peach baskets instead of regulation rims. Conference officials agreed and ordered the school to finally update their facilities. Since there was only an hour until game time, it looked like the Polecats would have to forfeit. Then Homer, of The Drovers, spoke up and said the teams could come out to the Drovers' farm where they had a court with real rims and backboards. Coach Eubanks agreed, but when he and his Irmo team arrived there to see that The Drovers' had regulation rims, but a red clay surface to play on, he erupted. "No! No! No! Prater's Creek must forfeit! We can't play on dirt!" he yelled. Homer stepped in and showed him the rulebook, "The rule book states that you have to have regulation rims at regulation height, and the court must be 90 feet long and 45 feet wide. It don't say nothin' about the surface of the court." Conference officials agreed and ordered Irmo to take the court. The Polecats jumped on the Yellow Jackets early in the game when the Irmo city boys became nauseous, and complained of the smell coming from the cow pasture and hog pen that was behind their bench.