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OPINION |
The Prater's Creek Gazette 2nd Issue Summer 1999 Page #4 |
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Guest Editorial Prater's Creek Ain't Montana
Well, I am no computer expert by no stretch of the imagination. I have never even seen a computer. I am typing this editorial on my John Deere typewriter. However, I can tell you this about computers--------they do not have any effect on our lives now in Prater's Creek, and any malfunction in January 2000 will not have any effect on us either. Where do we get our water? From the creek, or some spring or well we have dug. Electricity? When Prater's Creek gets electricity, we will worry about it then. Is this computer glitch going to stop the rain and sun so our crops will not grow? Will your mule be even more stubborn? Will a fiddle sound less beautiful and make you want to dance less? Will The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show's elixir lose any of its healing power? The answer to all of these questions is no, of course. Why, The Drovers are the only ones around here that have one of them dang computers, and that's just so they can host one of them "web sites". That, and so Grandpa can get pictures of Winona Ryder and Kristi Yamaguchi! So let's all don't go fretting over this Y2K thing, and let's keep those doomsday crackpots out of Prater's Creek. Remember, This Ain't Montana. Letters To The Editor Dear Gazette, During this past November's "goobernotorius" election, the big debate was over video poker and a possible lottery for the state. I kept hearing folks talk about the evils of gambling. Well, I just want to say that we need to start working on the form of gambling we already have in this state—BINGO. Many people have asked me why we don't have bingo night at the church. Because Jesus threw the moneychangers out of the temple. Go over to the big city to the Catholic Church if you want to wallow in filthy games of chance and ill-gotten gains. Bingo is the devil's crowbar. And any money or prizes won off these bingo games is ill gotten gains. Just look it up in the good book. So, while we're worrying about evils to come, let's rid ourselves and our souls of the evils we already have.
Signed, Dear Gazette,
Whatever happened to the conversion to
the metric system? Thirty years ago our children were being told
that they had to learn the metric system because we would all be switching
God Bless America! |
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I have been hearing and reading a lot about the so-called "Y2K" problem. As
you know, on January 1, 2000 there may be a problem with some of them
computers because they will read "00" as "1900". There has been a lot of
questions and panic over this. Many people think the world will be plunged
into a "Y2Chaos" with people being without water, electricity, and
civilization going haywire with fighting in the streets. Many of these folks
have a "head to the hills" plan and are stocking up on food, water, and
ammunition. These "Chicken Littles" are buying generators and moving to
places like Montana. There is even been some of these folks trying to
buy land here in Prater's Creek. They may have stopped by inquiring about
purchasing your farm. 
over
to it. Well it never happened did it? It seems the soda pop people were the
only ones to bite, with their two liter bottles. Unless you work on Japanese
cars, deal drugs or on a diet you never even think about kilos or grams. The
people of the United States, in all their beautiful stubbornness, thumbed
their noses at giving into this Euro-measurement.