COMMUNITY NEWS (Cont.)

The Prater's Creek Gazette

17th Issue Spring 2008 Page #3

Celebrity Beagle  Appears At Prater's Creek Dog Show

Uno, the first beagle to ever win the Westminster Dog Show, visited the Prater's Creek Dog Show. It was BEAGLEMANIA as people came from all over the south to see the celebrity canine scratch and lick himself. Mr. and Mrs. Mack Swindell, of Troy Alabama stood in line for seven hours to be among the first lucky fans to see the celebrated beagle. "It was well worth it!" Mr. Swindell told the Gazette, adding, "that dawg is amazing!" Mike and Rebecca Hester had planned for years to go to Paris, but when they heard that Uno was coming, they cashed in their plane tickets and stayed here to see the beagle. "We could see the Eiffel Tower, or visit the Lourves any ol' time!" Mrs. Hester said, "but how many times in life do you get to see a beagle as great as Uno?!"

Rumors have been circulating that Uno would retire from competition. The National Enquirer, People, and OK magazines have been running articles stating the rumors as facts. We here at The Gazette were able to score an exclusive interview with Uno. Here is that interview:

The Prater's Creek Gazette: Uno, we hear that you may retire. Is this true?

Uno: Arf!

All-Girl Singing To Be Held

An all-girl concert will be held Saturday, May 10,the day before Mother's Day, on the porch at Livwright's General Store. There will be bluegrass and punk rock featuring The Stevens Sisters, The Larkin's, and the Milton Twins. The show is sponsored by the Ladies Auxiliary. Admission is free.

Local Musician Continues To Campaign For The Oval Office

Even though he hasn't garnered delegates in the primaries, Uncle Carl, banjo player for The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, continues to kiss hands and shake babies. No that's not a typo. In a recent talk with the Gazette, Uncle Carl says he is not throwing in the towel just yet. "The silent majority has not voted yet" the candidate said, "they will be heard from on Election Day. A lot of folks don't wanna admit that they are bluegrass fans. But when they vote for real on Nov. 4, they'll pull that lever for me. Well, they'll have to write me in 'cause I won't be on the ballot. I'm hammering home my goals for the office and still looking for the materials to build me a platform, and sticking to my campaign slogan: A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Pigs In Every Poke, and Three Fingers On Every Banjo!" (below, on the campaign trail)

Star Of Leatherheads Involved In Tigertown Tussle or, as in the old Drovers' song: Don Massey, He's A Lover Not A Fighter

Don Massey, star extra from the upcoming  George Clooney movie Leatherheads, found that being a big star may not be it's all cracked up to be. Known as "Sassy" or "Classy", and even "Sassy Classy" Don Massey, he was chatting up some young coed at Tiger Town Tavern when her jealous boyfriend sucker punched the star extra of Leatherheads. The boyfriend then ran like the coward that he is while onlookers rushed to see if Massey was okay. During the confusion, the coed also made her getaway. Nobody knew who the sucker puncher, or the girl, were, but the scuttlebutt at upstairs TTT is that he works at Copper River Grill in Seneca, SC. Massey is trying to find the man to even the score. If you have any information on this sucker puncher, please contact the Gazette.

Lifestyles

DEAR RAMONA

Dear Ramona,

My husband didn't do anything for Valentine's Day. No candy, no flowers, not even a lousy card! To get back at him I invited the church choir over to rehearse the afternoon of the Daytona 500. He and his buddies were gonna drink beer and cook out on the grill. But being  true Baptists, they didn't dare drink any beer in front of the members of the choir. Ramona, we have been fighting like cats and dogs ever since. What should we do?

"At An Impasse on Mountain Pass Rd."

Dear "Impasse"

In Spring the possibility of love in the air. In Spring hope springs eternal. You two need to make up by opening day of the baseball season!!

Ramona

Dear Ramona,

I value your opinion a great deal. Who should I vote for in the presidential race? Hillary, Obama,and McCain all have good points. Please help me.

"Undecided"

Dear "Undecided"

I'm glad you value my opinion, you should. I ask you: do any of those three play the banjo?! I think not! You need to vote for Uncle Carl when you go behind that curtain in November!!!

Ramona

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