On This Day In Prater’s Creek History
On this day in Prater’s Creek History,
in 1947, General Douglas MaCarther was in town to do some carp fishing. He
was having breakfast at the Six Mile Café when he excused himself from the
table, saying “I shall return”. He never did. His corn cob pipe was later
found with, what Sheriff Stone called, a “hashish substance”.
 Quilting
Bee Has Guest Speaker
The Prater’s Creek Quilting Bee had a
special guest speaker this week. Judith Haynes, of Clemson, SC, gave a lecture on
quilting and displayed her works. Miss Haynes also brought along her accordion.
After refreshments (homemade liquor, er I mean elixir, courtesy of
The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show) were served, the ladies joined Judith and her accordion on
"Roll Out The Barrel" and "Beer Barrel Polka". The meeting,
which was held at Inez McGuire’s house, turned ugly after the refreshments
were guzzled down. Flossie Jenkins said she'd "take on all comers in
arm rasslin'!". "Flossie, like every time she gets a snoot full" Mrs.
McGuire told the Gazette, "wanted to arm wrestle! Then she got Jenny Heart
in a headlock and the next thang I knowed, my house was wrecked!"
Guest speaker,Miss Haynes, said
"Them old ladies were a lot of fun! I can't wait to be invited back!"
Put A Little Spring In Your Step(s)
The Prater's Creek Senior Center will be holding their annual Spring Dance
on Saturday April 12 at 4pm. In addition to the fun, there will also be a
dance contest. Couples will be judged on technique, staying awake, and
whether a hip is broken. The winners will each receive a five gallon bucket
of Polident denture adhesive, courtesy of Procter and Gamble.
The music will be provided by Guy Lumbago and the Broke Hipsters. Mr.
Lumbago said original accordion player, Johnny Potaski, is back with the
band after his torrid tabloid tryst with Amy Winehouse.
Sheriff Worried
About Crowd
Control
During Upcoming
Sporting Events
Sheriff David Stone said the upcoming
Swappin' Licks Contest may bring record
crowds to Prater's Creek. "We're expecting a big ol' crowd" the Sheriff told
the Gazette, "with people coming from as far away as Anderson, SC!" In
addition to the large crowd, the attendees, and the contestants, are also usually very inebriated.
"Ah, heck" Sheriff Stone continued, "them folks will be so drunk and fired
up, wanting to fight. The contest is a lot of fun, but a lot of trouble."
Local Man Wins Lottery, But Can't Find Ticket
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for Billy Owens. Mr.
Owens purchased a state lottery ticket with his dog tag number from his Army
days and lo and behold that number was called out as the winning number.
Mr. Owens immediately called up his boss at Garish Mengele and cussed him
out telling him he quit. He then told the Fire Department that he would buy
them the fire engine they have been trying to save up and buy for so long.
He also told the athletic director at Prater's Creek High that he'd
pay for a gymnasium so the basketball team could finally pay indoors.
But when he went to get the winning ticket out of his sock drawer, it was
nowhere to be found.
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