Sports

The Prater's Creek Gazette

17th Issue Spring 2008 Page #9

 As Compiled by Sports Editor Bubba McCalister and his brother Dorris

Prater's Creek Little League Team

Defeats The Baltimore Orioles

In what is being called the biggest upset in baseball history, the Little League team sponsored by dress shop owner Jenny Heart, the Hearts of the Diamond, defeated the major league's Baltimore Oriole 5-0. Nine year old pitcher, Kevin Thompson, held the once proud Orioles to only three hits. "They were easier to strike out than any of the batters I pitch to in Little League" Kevin told the Gazette over a chocolate milkshake at the Six Mile Cafe. Hearts slugger Billy Wicker, who hit two homeruns in the game, said the Orioles' pitching was "easier to hit than my little sister's!"

The game was arranged by Grandpa, of The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, a lifelong Orioles fan. The Baltimore franchise had finished spring training and stopped by Prater's Creek on it's way back to Maryland. "Well" Grandpa said, "looks like it's gonna be a 'nother dismal year for the Birds". Baltimore manager, Dave Trembley, said "Yeah, but on the bright side, we look better than last year!"

 Signup For Swappin' Licks Contest

Why should you and your buddy get drunk and hit each other in the face for free? You could win a trophy, $25 in prize money, a glory that is priceless, and earn the respect of the entire community. The 48th Annual Swappin' Licks Contest will be held Saturday, June 7. Three time champion Spike Maulding will again be looking to take home the trophy and prize money. "Oh yeah" Mr. Maulding told the Gazette, "I've been coming home smelling of cheap likker and with lipstick on my collar for the past three months and getting slapped by my wife to get ready for this contest. My face is like leather. None of these men stand a chance of hurting me if my wife can't!"

For all of you Yankees, and the more genteel Southern readers who never participated in such drunken sports such as cow tipping and smashing mailboxes, the sport of swapping licks was born out of all night drinking marathons around stills and in bars, and around Qualuuded campouts in Fant's Grove. Two contestants square off and take turns hitting each other in the face until one of the pugilists can't take any more. The rules state that contestant cannot hit the other fellow, and then quit. He must receive his lick before throwing in the towel.

Basketball Season Forfeited

After Hank Jackson’s barn fell down, the Prater’s Creek High Basketball team had to cancel the rest of the season, and forfeit all home games. The Pickens County School Commission ruled three years ago that Prater's Creek High could no longer play it's home games outdoors on red clay. And since the school board refused to allocate funds to build a gym for the dirt poor school, the past two seasons the Polecat hoopsters have used Mr. Jackson's barn. But December's big windstorm wrecked Jackson's barn and there was not another barn in the area big enough to have a basketball court.

Prater's Creek High Sports Banquet To Be Held

The Prater's Creek High Sports Banquet will be held Wednesday, May 21 at the B&B BBQ at 7:00pm. Awards will be given out in basketball, women's field hockey, track and field, and baseball. Presidential candidate, Uncle Carl of The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show, will be the guest speaker. Tickets are $5 and can be purchased at any business in town.

Farewell Favre

After 17 seasons, the ol' gunslinger himself, Brett Favre, #4, has retired. His record against the Bears, well I'm too lazy to look it up, but he killed us. After the hapless Falcons let him go, Favre brought the Green Bay Packers back to the top echelon of the NFL, winning the Super Bowl in 199%.

If you were an NFL fan the past 17 years, you were a Brett Favre fan. Even Chicago Bear fans, Packer haters at heart, had to admit he was a great player and fun to watch. During his 16 years as the starting quarterback in Green Bay, over 30 different QBs started at the position for the Bears. We wished we had a consistently great quarterback like him.

And who can forget a few years back, when Favre came out on a Sunday, just a day after burying his beloved father, and had one of the greatest games of his life?

This past season, he broke Dan Marino's career touchdown record while having one of his best seasons ever and leading Green Bay to a surprising 13-3 regular season record. But the season ended, in the playoffs against the Giants, when Favre, the ol' gunslinger, threw one of the kinds of interceptions that made Packers' fans beat themselves in the head the past 16 years. Because, even though he has thrown more touchdowns than any other QB, he has also thrown more interceptions than any other QB.

Football will miss him. I'm just glad the Bears beat him in both games this past season.

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