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Lifestyles
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Dear |
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Ramona |
Dear
Ramona,
I’ve been dating this purty lil’ gal for some time
now, and some day I hope to marry her. Her aunt asked me what I
liked about her and I said that she was
“homely”. My mean old aunt laughed, and went
and told my betrothed. I’ve since been told that the word I was looking for
was “wholesome”. Jennie is mad at me and won’t
let me walk her to church on Sunday morning anymore. What should I do?
Earl
in Easley
Dear Earl,
I know Jennie Finch, and you had it right.
Ramona
Dear Ramona,
I have been visiting your state on sabbatical from
teaching philosophy at UCLA. I cannot believe this discussion I have been
hearing everyday about trying to discredit Darwin and his theory of
evolution. You people do know it is the 21st century don’t you?
Dr.
Simon P.
Hutchpence Ph.D.
Dear
Doc,
My, my, are you one of them folks that have the Christian
fish with legs bumper sticker on your car? You poor soul.
Ramona
Dear Ramona,
I’ve been hearing about this evolution vs. intelligent
design thang. And I just wanna say I DIDN’T COME FROM NO MONKEY!
Not a Primate in
Prater’s Creek
Dear Not a Primate,
Jimbo Plumley, I don’t really believe in evolution, but if
it is true, who says you’re family has even evolved as far along the chain
as a bunch of monkeys?
Ramona
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Little
League Baseball Signup Next
Week
 All
boys and girls, between 6 and 14, who want to play in the Prater’s Creek
Little League this Spring, should sign up at Livwright’s General during
store hours next week. Prater’s Creek High baseball coach Stumpy Caldwell
said he hopes “to develop some future talent for the Polecats”. Teams will
be chosen March 28th,with practice beginning April 3rd.
on
this
day
in
prater's
creek history
On this day in history in Prater’s Creek, Don Knotts visited Livwright’s
General Store and bought a new plastic
comb.
Fire
Station To
Have
Chicken
And Dumpling
Supper
The Prater’s Creek Volunteer Fire
Department will be having a chicken and dumpling supper on May 5, from 5pm
to 7pm, to raise money to buy a fire truck. Plates are $4 for adults and $3
for children under twelve. Chief “Flint” McCalister said his band, Flint and
The Flattops, would be providing the evening’s entertainment. The fire
station is located on
Stewart Gin Road.
Essay
Contest Sponsored
By The
Gazette
The Gazette is looking for some writing talent out there in our rural cyber
town. We are looking for the best essay, in 100 words or less, on “Why I’m
Glad I Live In Prater’s Creek”. Email the Gazette staff through this
website. Deadline is May 15,2006. The winner will have their essay printed
in the next issue, receive
The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show CD of their
choice, and their picture proudly displayed on the band’s website. This
contest is open to all ages.
Ramona’s Cook-out
tips
 Howdy
friends! The weather is getting warmer and those wonderful backyard parties
are being planned, and the backyard grill is getting the rust knocked off of
it. Well, Ramona wants to help you save your little soiree from becoming
just plain sorry.
Don’t let the drunkest one at the party be in control of the grill. How many
times have you seen some fool dump a whole can of lighter fluid, or
kerosene, or gasoline, on the
charcoal, throw a
match on it and turn
around with no eyebrows? And,
for goodness
sakes,
 don’t
let a drunk do
the cooking. You’ll see the meat
go on the grill, you’ll
be mingling and
throwing back a cocktail, then all of a sudden, you hear him yell “Let’s
eat!” And you’re thinking “I know I have had a few, but didn’t he just put
that meat on five minutes ago”.
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