The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show - Prater's Creek Gazette

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OPINION	The Prater's Creek Gazette 1st Issue Fall 1998 Page #4

Guest Editorial

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Howdy y'all!, This is James T. Buchanon with this week's guest editorial. I've got a bee in my bonnet about the left wingers and the right wingers tryin' to change my everyday habits!

You got your left wingers up there in Washingtoon tryin' to outlaw tobacco because the tobacco companies target youngins' in their ad campaigns. Well, when I was growing up it wasn't no commercial or ad that made me want to smoke, it was watching my Granddaddy. He'd come in from the fields at dinnertime, sit on the front porch and roll him up a smoke. I swear that cigarette satisfied him more than the wonderful meal Grandma had prepared.

I'd sit and watch how he'd take out that pouch, hold the pouch strings in his mouth, put that wonderful smelling tobacco in the paper, and with a lick and a twist he'd be enjoyin' a smoke. That night after supper he'd get out his knife and cut off a big chunk of Black Mambo or Red Dog to chew on while he played the banjo. As the sun set he'd be out there on the porch pickin' and spittin', as happy as a pig eatin' slop! I can just see some politician tryin' to take Granddaddy's tobacco from him! Why, he'd a filled 'em full of buckshot!! What's next?! You gonna try and take my BBQ away from me?! Look y'all, as long as I'm not hurtin' anybody else, let me drink what I want to drink, smoke what I want to smoke, and eat what I want to eat!!!!!

Thank you, James T. Buchanon

Letter To The Editor

Dear Sirs:

I'm writing in response to last week's editorial by real estate broker Mr. Stuart Belmont, and the ''progress" he wants to bring the people of Prater's Creek.

First of all, the buying up of pasture land and subsequent development of subdivisions, with names such as Prater's Creek Pastures", does nothing to help the average citizen of this small town. As a mater of fact, it hurts the people born and raised here in Prater's Creek. These carpetbaggers come in here buying up precious farm and pasture land, and they build fancy houses no Prater's Creek native could afford.

Yes, it raises property values, but it also raises property taxes. And as any farmer will tell you, we ordinary working people have a hard enough time paying our taxes now. Secondly, the big highway these same developers are trying to push through will wipe out our little town. Sure, there will be a mall or outlet stores, but that will surely run Livwright's General Store out of business. When our town's only store is gone, downtown is gone. If we let these money hungry land grabbers have their way, there won't be anything but Yankees, Yuppies, and Yuppie Yankees living here. They'll be sitting out on their idea of a southern mansion's porch, drinking iced tea out of a can, and looking out at a steel forest of cellular phone towers. So when one of these vampires come to your door with a big smile and a checkbook, you say you want Prater's Creek to stay the way the it is, and then slam the door in his face!!!

Thank you, Ebenezer Howard

Dear Gazette,

Bluegrass, the alternative to alternative country!

Yours truly,

The Drovers Old Time Medicine Show

Ooba dooba, Dooba ooba duh dooba duh ooo. Oooba duh dooba doo! Dooba duh dooba da dooba ooba ah oooba do duh ooba 25³x346%±57=fy5x36 doobq oooba.

X (Clovis)

Dear Sirs,

Yeah, what Clovis said!!

Thank you,

Dr. Petr Von Schmidt, Phd. Physics

MIT, Cambridge, MA